Lived Experience Forum

[bean]

With all that is going wrong in my life and the major struggles I’m finding myself wanting so self harm. I have been self harm free for a while and I swear it’s due to my meds that I am now coming off of it’s like they took the urges away as well as keeping me some what stable.

I don’t want to ruin my self harm free run but the urges to are winning and I’m so wanting to.

Does anyone else understand my screwed up mind?

[Mulgajane]

I understand @bean
Can I help?

[bean]

I’m not sure @Mulgajane

[Mulgajane]

I used to self harm so I understand the urge and the relief and the guilt and the shame afterwards.

[Acacia]

Hey @bean, I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling today. Well done on the self harm free stretch, I imagine that was quite a challenge. It sounds like you might have been using some other strategies for managing difficult thoughts and emotions during that time. Can you remember what they were? I understand that the medication might have kept some of those thoughts at bay, but I wonder if there was some input from you as well?

[jovial]

hi @bean are there any mindfulness clases near you. they are free to attend.

[bean]

Hi @Acacia

My strategies of coping in the past were holding onto ice or placing it on a part of my body I wanted to self harm on, drawing on my skin with markers or having hair ties on my wrist and flicking them over and over.

These things that have worked in the past just don't seem to be affective lately, and the more I'm trying not too cave in the more intense it is making them feeling of needing too.

[bean]

Hi @jovial
I honestly have no idea, but with my anxiety levels at an all time highI doubt I could get myself there if there were such a thing near me

[Appleblossom]

From what I gather it is a balancing act ... keeping the dose high enough to reduce urges and low enough to live a life.  I have gone up and down over the years in my attempt to manage it.  Maybe slow down your med reduction ...?  with supervision.

[bean]

My med reduction has been over the past 8 weeks, my first reduction seemed to go ok-ish but the next one which is what I am at now isn't good, it has come at a really crappy time with everything in my life crumbling with out my normal dose it seems to exacerbate everything so much more than it probably would if fully medicated.
I'm having to come off it for the moment due to other health related problems and treatments needing done, but I'm unsure if I'm going to be able to stick it out