Lived Experience Forum

[Lemonjuice]

Hi, I am feeling overwhelmed at the moment.  I had a difficult session with my therapist yesterday, my tutor to see tomorrow with a plan which I am confused about, a uni exam on Friday that I am not prepared for , a paper to hand in on Monday, $60 to my name till next Thursday, no petrol for the car to get to uni, or my therapist on Monday, and I am battling feelings of self-harm and suicide.  I don't even bother thinking about suicide anymore, planning it, I know what I need to do, it's the same plan.  I'm trying though to not let the impulses get the better of me.  Everything feels like it's on fire in my body and I am dehydrated too, making everything worse.

[Lemonjuice]

Just got a message from my sister that I am due $130 back from the rta. Probably get it by Monday. Ok, breathing a bit better now. So sick of being broke...it saps all my strength and makes me stir crazy. I have about $1000 worth of bills, most overdue. By the time I figure out how to pay those, the electricity bill will hit us. Ok, not going to think about that now, going to go study, forget everything else.

[outlander]

hello @Lemonjuice that sounds really overwhelming! finance troubles are so hard and can be really emabarrassing too.
is there a way to reduce your uni fees for a short time? or take up a part time job?

[Lemonjuice]

It's not uni fees cause I am in my 50s and on a pension and under a scheme. It's things like parking the car on campus, photocopying, petrol, etc. I can't give it up though, it will destroy me, it's the only thing that is keeping me alive. Most of the money gets eaten up by electricity, phone, etc. I can't work but I am thinking of making youtube videos on cooking and maybe attaching a paypal account for donations. I'm also thinking of making sweets and cakes and selling those to local cafes...been living in the area for 20 years and I know the shop owners...think they would be up for it. I only need to raise $3000 to feel safe and pay all the bills and repair my car. Crazy world we live in when a handbag can cost as much as it would take to make someone secure.

[outlander]

Ah i see @Lemonjuice
Making things to sell sounds good. It might bring in a little extra for you

@Sans911 maybe you could offer some advice?

[Sans911]

You really do sound overwhelmed with everything going on like it is @Lemonjuice

But taking your life is a permanent solution to these issues that are temporary. You say your passionate about your studies, and it's giving you purpose. So hold on to that.

And then I urge you to seek help from a financial counseller. If you see student services at the University they should be able to point you in the right direction. Don't feel ashamed. You've done nothing wrong. Financial counsellers don't cost anything, they can negotiate with creditors to pay off debts so you don't get charged late fees or other charges, some bills might be able to put on hold, and they can help you with getting money for electricity or gas bills.

Last year I incurred over $5000 in ambulance bills (for suicide attempts mostly). I'm not working, still on Newstart and fighting to get disability support pension, my house mate left me over $3000 in unpaid rent and bills and the list goes on. I was backed up to the wall. I didn't want to see anyone, but I was drowning. She's helped negotiate a payment plan with the ambulance bills, and she's helping me to apply for some money off my electricity bill.

Selling stuff sounds great, but don't take on more than you can handle, otherwise you're just replacing one stress with another.

I hope some of this helps. Tag me anytime you want to talk about anything.

[Lemonjuice]

Thanks. I'm confused though, ambulances are free aren't they?