Something’s not right
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11-07-2020 05:49 PM
11-07-2020 05:49 PM
Feeling lost
This is my first post so please excuse any mistakes.
i was diagnosed with PTSD nine years ago, mostly coming from military and first responder trauma, I sought out help and was able to return to work after an extensive regiment of medication and counseling. I unfortunately ended a twenty year marriage during this time.
I feel I operate well in my work environment and the day to day things I can manage without any problems. My biggest issue and one that makes me feel lost is relationships. I feel so lonely at present, I don't know why, but I just want someone to actually enjoy my company, want me for me. I think the biggest thing that stops me is burdening someone with my PTSD. Sorry if it's long and confusing
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11-07-2020 05:53 PM
11-07-2020 05:53 PM
Re: Feeling lost
Hello @Nomedic12
Welcome to the SANE forums! It's great to have you here and thanks for telling the community a bit about yourself. I'm sure the forum members will be able to offer you support, information and connection. I'm the moderator on duty right now. Feel free to ask the SANE forum team or the members if you need help with how to use the forum. And to send a member a notification about your posts put @ before the member's name in the post as I have for you.
You might like to check out the Guidelines as they can be pretty useful in understanding how it all works https://saneforums.org/t5/help/faqpage#community-guidelines.
Take care.
Whitehawk
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11-07-2020 06:14 PM - edited 11-07-2020 06:16 PM
11-07-2020 06:14 PM - edited 11-07-2020 06:16 PM
Re: Feeling lost
Hello and welcome, @Nomedic12 . It's good you've joined, where people can relate to your PTSD.
Unfortunately it's a common thing I think, not wanting to burden others with our illnesses. 😞
At least you can feel free to write about your PTSD here, if you want, and people will listen and understand.
Are you still seeing a counsellor, if your PTSD is ongoing?
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11-07-2020 06:16 PM
11-07-2020 06:16 PM
Re: Feeling lost
Not long and confusing at all @Nomedic12 Your desires and fears are understandable. Not many people want to be on their own nor do many with PTSD want to burden someone else with their worries, feelings and fears. But there is a road back from PTSD and there is a way to build valued and loving relationships with it. A lot of that is being honest with the someone you are in a relationshp with whilst still working on your triggers and trauma. I believe the right person will want to help you do that and support you through it. Everyone has something in their lives they need help and/or support with and a loving, considerate and caring person will stand with you as well as be open with you.
Life with PTSD is hard at times but it is not what defines us ...and in fact I feel it is such experiences that make us even more compassionate and giving. I suspect in your work others see that of you every day - now to work on finding that person you can have in your life that not only sees that too but can be there for you and with you hey. Loneliness can be debilitating in itself. Do you have any groups you are part of or do you get out with friends socially?
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11-07-2020 06:39 PM
11-07-2020 06:39 PM
Re: Feeling lost
One or two friends I catch up with occasionally, but my shift work and Concerns about me generally limit my interactions
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11-07-2020 07:25 PM
11-07-2020 07:25 PM
Re: Feeling lost
Yeah shift work can really mess with consistent interactions with friends @Nomedic12 as can your own concerns about yourself. Do your friends know of your PTSD and are they supportive if they do?
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11-07-2020 07:36 PM
11-07-2020 07:36 PM
Re: Feeling lost
My Friends know, lost a few when I told them , the ones that stayed do. Good people, but can only take so much of their time lol
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11-07-2020 07:41 PM
11-07-2020 07:41 PM
Re: Feeling lost
Those that you 'lost' are not worth any more thought @Nomedic12 but those that you have now have stuck with you and they are true friends - you are lucky to have those kind of people in your life even if you do not see them often. Could you make a time each week that you could get together with them - I know that is hard with shift work but having a regular 'get-together' would get you out of the house and help a little with that loneliness. That of course does not fill the gap a relationship would but it is a start. Every little baby step moves you forward a little and over time you can work up to taking the bigger steps in meeting new people and doing different things. Covid of course makes that harder in some places presently but it won't always be this way.
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11-07-2020 08:42 PM
11-07-2020 08:42 PM
Re: Feeling lost
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11-07-2020 08:49 PM