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21-04-2019 11:05 PM
21-04-2019 11:05 PM
Re: Am Not Coping
I’m not feeling the greatest but I’ll be fine I guess. I’ll let you go then 🙂 hope you had a good day and have a good sleep! Goodnight x
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21-04-2019 11:08 PM
21-04-2019 11:08 PM
Re: Am Not Coping
Oops sorry @Boonana I posted before seeing your latest post.
Gosh thats a hard question sweetie. The easy bit to answer, is that no I dont self harm.
The difficult one, is that yes I do have thoughts of suicide on occasions, usually when my PTSD is badly triggered, I'm not sleeping well, and I get a lot of nightmares and flashbacks. It puts me in a low and very vulnerable place at times like that. And thats when my mind starts going places I know it shouldnt. When that happens I keep reminding myself that I have felt this way before, but got through it each time. Nothing ever stays the same. Our feelings on any one day, are temporary, and things really do improve. So I tend to cope best by telling myself that. I also have a great clinical psychologist, who encourages me to email her if I need to. I find that particularly helpful too. Do you see a psychologist at all, or do you have a trusted GP whom you are comfortable talking to?
Okay, I am really tired, and my brain is not working that well. I apologise for not being more helpful to you right now. But I really must go to bed. Catch you next time you're on. I hope you manage a sound and untroubled sleep tonight.
Sherry 💕💤🌸
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21-04-2019 11:33 PM
21-04-2019 11:33 PM
Re: Am Not Coping
These are not unusual things to ask about here @Boonana.
If you need extra support tonight there are numbers to call, or chat online with .....
https://www.gogentleaustralia.org.au/suicide_help
I will be around for a little while longer tonight, and I will look for you tomorrow Hon.
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21-04-2019 11:52 PM
21-04-2019 11:52 PM
Re: Am Not Coping
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21-04-2019 11:58 PM
21-04-2019 11:58 PM
Re: Am Not Coping
Goodnight sweet @Former-Member .... 💜🌷
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22-04-2019 06:41 AM
22-04-2019 06:41 AM
Re: Am Not Coping
Good morning @Faith-and-Hope @Former-Member @Boonana @Former-Member @Pepsimax and all passing through...
@Former-Member Just to let you know Hon that anytime you need to come here and unload/vent you are more than welcome to do so. It is so super hard for you at the moment and having a place you can let some of that out is very important so please do not ever feel like you are simply coming here and just venting because that is exactly what we are here for - to listen and support you in the best way we can ...always welcome to ask for that support here Hon because you not only deserve that but we are also happy to support you anytime
@Boonana That cake is amazing - I bet it was a real jit with your family as well
@Former-Member As always your support here is wonderful - so much care and compassion in all your posts - something that further endears me to you Hon
@Faith-and-Hope Hope you had a good nights sleep and there was no late night or early morning waking by Mr. Did you get much of your sculpture done Hon?
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22-04-2019 07:29 AM
22-04-2019 07:29 AM
Re: Am Not Coping
Hi @Zoe7 .
No late or early waking by mr, thankfully.
I did get a good amount of work done on my sculpture last night, and it is some finer, finishing details, which is fun.
The kids were good company, and because they have been / are being counselled about how to deal with their dad’s controlling or entitled behaviours, they advise me at times when they can see I have been affected, like I was yesterday.
He called one of them, while we were there ...... who answered their phone hands-free ...... where he then had a gripe to them about me “abandoning” D2 with him in the Home Space, and “taking off”, as if I was off out somewhere unknown, irresponsibly .....
Grrrr .....
And then he said he was now forced to leave D2 home alone for an hour, because he didn’t have time (for a 2min detour) to bring her to the Art Space ahead of his second jog for the day .....
Right. Sure.
I was only a phone call away, like he had just made to one of the kids.
He comes and goes from the Home Space when I am there, leaving D2 with me without caring whether that is convenient for me or not.
The idea of him working around me, or missing his second jog is inconceivable to him.
Stating that he was leaving D2 home alone for the hour was making the kids a part of that (one of them went and stayed with her).
When he came back he took D2 out on an hour’s power walk, which he has now added in on top of his own x2 jogs and daily gym sessions ..... thereby increasing his own exercise quota further ......and I am concerned that he is over-doing it with her. She does need her fitness improved, beyond the days that I walk her home from uni, but if he runs her immunity down she will be more succeptible to viruses ..... and her immunity is lower than other people’s.
Trying to talk to him about it just initiates an aggressive response, which we don’t need, because he can’t tollerste his decisions being questioned, countered, or interfered with, but one of the other baby dragons will join the next power walk, and voice their own concerns if they feel he is over-doing it with D2. Then it starts to become a chorus ..... which he does have to answer to.
Vent over .... He is up now. I might see if I can find a coffee somewhere, and go back to the Art Space. The furniture change around has happened there now, and although it’s stil messy and unorganised, it is feeling more homely 🎉
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22-04-2019 07:44 AM
22-04-2019 07:44 AM
Re: Am Not Coping
It is so frustrating that he just cannot see that the behaviours he tries to imply you are showing are infact the ones that he is. It is good that your baby dragons are both seeing and standing up for you in amongst all this @Faith-and-Hope It is becoming more and more obvious to them that he is painting you as the 'bad' parent when all his behaviours are showing him up in the process. The push back from your baby dragons is yet another sign though that they are finding their own feet and not tolerating the massive control he has had over them (and you). As you said - having a 'chorus' behing you to call out these behaviours is good - takes a little pressure off you to stand up to him constantly for everyone in the famiily.
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22-04-2019 08:10 AM
22-04-2019 08:10 AM
Re: Am Not Coping
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22-04-2019 08:14 AM
22-04-2019 08:14 AM
Re: Am Not Coping
Good morning @Boonana How was your night last night? Did you manage some sleep?