Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

There are a number of threads on BPD that may help. If you have not already, type this in the search bar.

[Sanatorium23]

Hi @DD5. Wow do I hear what you’re saying. I could easily launch into a tirade, but don’t want to vent at you. The system is beyond frustrating. I’m not sure if anyone has tried this or has thoughts on it, but you might be able to get some advice and support from a mental health advocate. Knowing a little (by that I mean very little really) about patients rights, carers rights and the provisions of the Mental Health Act helped both me and my partner during a recent (not good) hospital admission. Good luck. The ‘system’ will try your patience so it’s great to hear that your children are behind you and give you support and strength.

[Determined]

Hi @DD5 and welcome the forums,

My wife (18 years) also lives with BPD and major depression, while I can't offer any advice I can certainly relate to everything you are saying, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. 

I could go into a long rant about my frustrations but that probably would not help.

I am thankful that current pdoc will actually listen to my concerns and his reception ladies will always warmly greet me and talk to me about what I need from the doc. What he does with the info who knows, he has however on 2 occasions admitted her to hospital at my request so that is something. (Very high risk of self harm at the time).  Previous pdoc and her reception were arrogant and dismissive to say the least. 

[DD5]

Hi everyone I really appreciate your replies. Knowing you are not alone is very helpful.I actually recently had a very good result. I sent a message to all 3 of my wife's Drs. They did not respond but my wife's GP has commenced a full review and referred her back to the physciatrist. From what my wife told me about the appointment my message was obviously received;There are no easy options or solutions but at least they are trying. I feel for all of you in the same situation. You all have my upmost respect and best wishes.

[Zorro]

Ditto Mate

I am in exactly the same situation as you are. Caring for someone who has bipolar is not simple.

Does she currently take any medication to sub due her.

You should make an appointment with a keener doctor, not just one who wants the cash mate but a docotr who wants to help.

My wife hates the doctors, hates giving blood and everything in life is difficult. Her attitude makes things even worse. 

We should stay in touch because we could touch base every now and then and see if we can help each other.

It would really be good if the sane platform had a full time pychologist who might be able to help us along our difficult journey.

Like some advice on how to deal with people who have these conditions, the only people who have a true appreciation of how difficult it is are those that live with it.

Zorro

[Janna]

Hi @DD5

Although my situation is different (carer to an 18 year old son with major depressive disorder and social phobia) I hear what you are saying.  What I have come to realise is that when you really need support, it is not there.  My son also has episodes of crisis and it is during these times that I desperately need support to not only give me advice on to how best to handle him, but also to support me when my emotions are running high and I am close to a breakdown due to the stress and strain of it all.  My son has been seeing the same psychologist for 5 years and has given her permission to communicate directly with me. I also see a psychologist for my own issues, many of which are related to my son.  I assume that they are our primary professional support persons.  Unfortunately, both are completely unavailable outside of scheduled appointment times and refer me to the Acute Care Crisis Team (ACCT).  When I do call ACCT one of the standard things they ask is "Who do you have for support?" to which I answer "Well no-one right now which is why I've rung you".  It appears that everyone is advocating for support, and yet no-one takes ownership and full responsibility for that support and simply shifts that responsibility along, resulting in no support.  I can assure you that this lack of support has frequently led me to having my own personal crisis simply because I feel completely alone and that no-one really cares.  I am fortunate however to have a very good friend who is very supportive and understanding and I get more support from her than I do from any paid mental health professional.  If I did not have her to turn to I would feel completely abandoned and am sure that my own mental health would be compromised.  The last time I spoke with someone from ACCT she recommended that I look into attending a workshop which is for carers and (also MH professionals) which she considered would be very relevant and useful. She had attended the workshop and considered it very good.   It's called "Staying Connected When Emotions Run High" - you can google this and see where and when the next workshop is being held and if possible consider attending it. 

All the best

Janna ❤️