13-01-2019 10:52 PM
15-01-2019 12:14 PM
Keeping you in thoughts - thinking Lapses would say "Hope WH behaving himself" 😀
18-01-2019 06:49 PM
Keeping you in thoughts.
18-01-2019 08:36 PM
25-01-2019 07:27 PM
Thinking of you 😀.
02-02-2019 07:31 PM
02-02-2019 07:42 PM
Thinking of you here also @Faith-and-Hope 👋
04-02-2019 08:24 AM
Hi to everybody following me here .....
Time to have a vent ......
I am back from an overseas stay in the country of our other culture. As usual it was an emotional roller coaster, with the mi issues we are carrying as a family, and my hubby’s eating disordered and control-issues behaviour as ever in tow. It all goes with the territory, so there is not much use in complaining about it ..... it’s either find a way to carry forward with it all, or leave it, the “leave it” “choice” having it’s own consequences to bear .....
The issue I am needing to clear my head with is more specific, and immediate. As most of you know, two of our adult kids still under our roof have returned to study .... or rather .... are persisting in staying at uni, which seems to be the best option for their mental health recovery at this time. I am now studying too,which leaves our (disabled) D2 in the care of her father during our class contact hours, as he had agreed. As most of you also know, he has been travelling between states to spend two days a week with his elderly mother. These travels were placed to work with the class timetables of those of us studying, so D2 has been suspended within the careof all of us ..... until last Friday apparently.
Mr.f&h has since decided to suit himself as to when he travels for the two days a week, and has organised the next four weeks travel across my busiest timetabled day, with a single class smack-bang in the middle of the other day ..... and his communication of this was, at best, vague. I was left to find it in our family timetable when flight notifications popped up. His “I thought I told you” was a lie that I knocked down straight away, where it was followed through with “well I spoke about it within your hearing, which is the same thing”, which also holds no water cos God knows what else was happening at the time when this utterance was given 😡. Confronted over this, I was told that it’s my problem, that everyone else in this family are serving themselves, so he will too 😡😡.
S2 is still hobbled with insecurity and self-doubt, and as a result his enrolment is not fully established yet, andit is critical that his uni start comes together as smoothly and stress free as is possible for us. Although we are back in Aus, we are in our other home state till the end of the week, and will arrive back in our uni-city two days before classes start .... where I will have those two days plus one more to access some sort of care or carer for D2 for two days a week,or start missing my own classes from the beginning of semester 😡😡😡. When told this was not appropriate, and needed to involve proper adult communication between us, I was met with “I don’t care, I am going to do what I want !” and then later some lame excuses about having to book the flights he needed with enough lead time, which clearly made him mute to mentioning it / discussing it beforehand, for two seconds or more .... 🙄😱😡.
With S2 and D3 sounstable last year, I hadn’t focussed my attention on NDIS and what is needed and involved for D2. This is clearly now in sharp focus. I have emailed a Local Area Co-ordinator for disability services in the hope of an appointment on my first day free from classes, but that doesn’t affect the need for a carer the very next day, which is all day attendance at uni. D3 is in my course, and has one class time free that day, but she needs to be making friends and settling in, not running home to take over care of her sister, then running back to uni for her next class, while she is battling anxiety herself, and much more care for D2 beyond that one class slot is required anyway ..... grrrrr.
A scan of support services has shown that many are available, but trying to sort out options and availabilities, with no prior experience, in a city I dont know well yet, trying to vet strangers etc and organise where and how care should happen is huge. And the two days leading into the uni start are a weekend besides.
This is clearly an abuse, but to take Mr. on properly over it will, without doubt, crash the uni start for the unstable other two, and the fact that he would allow that to happen is an inherent part of the abuse.
I have the rest of this week to research and set up what I can by remote, but there is something else in this ..... the threat of this same situation arising as an emergency, in the event that Mr. suffered a health crisis, is a background stress I have enough living with anyway, but to have tried to set up alternative care for D2 ahead of time would have incited it’s own battles. This way it is something he has imposed on me, but will, in fact, resolve the problem of that pre-existing threat ..... silver lining right there.
**. D = daughter, S = son for any newcomers to this thread, and there are 5 in all, with a DIL = daughter in law and SnIL = son in law as well.
Having gotten all of this out of my head and down on the page, I am going to try to go back to sleep for a while.
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