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Senior Contributor

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@lapses

just read your last post on here. i admire you luv, and you come across such a strong person, and someone who loves her dad very much.

i resonated with what you said about it being hard but fulfilling. i care for my 73 year old mum, and yes there are times when it is very hard but i really value the time i get to spend with her. she is currently in a mental health facility for older people as her mental health was declining, one doc even said it could be onset of dementia but they are not sure. she had a uti so it could also be delirium from the uti or her mental health could be declining ... so many symptoms overlap so they have to rule one thing out at a time.

i feel for you as it sounds your family make things harder for you. i have an older sister who doesnt play any part in caring for mum. it makes it harder for me in the sense that i dont have her support but because i handle everything, she cant make things harder for me in the sense of handling certain things and then i need to go and deal with them. i hope that makes sense!?!

i love that little song your dad sang to you. that would have put a big smile on your face!

xx

Senior Contributor

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

[ Edited ]

I'm so upset atm 😭

Just took dad to see dr re rash etc & the dr was real upset because my Bro2 had been in there unannounced, never been before, and questioned dr about my capacity to care for dad and apparently Bro2 abused the dr for stating he was happy that dad is well cared for. But not only that, apparently Bro2 has since filed a formal complaint about dads dr to the medical board (or so) & this has angered dad's doctor.

When i entered dad's dr's room (with dad in a wheelchair) to get the results of dad's X-Rays & have this bad rash looked, the dr's body language was that of 'ready for battle' Smiley Sad  and before sitting down he asked me "do you have a brother Lloyd?...."

OMyGoodness, i apologised for my brothers who are not coping with losing mum... ... But clearly the dr was not his usual sharp thinking happy man i have grown to like. Bro3 definately poison.

But also, i feel pressured,  dads gerontologist & this gp are pressuring me to apply for guardianship of dad. But i'm scared of the can of worms it would open with the siblings again.  I'm scared of my stress levels,  the ruthless cold legal processes,  always standing alone,  and scared i'll crack / have another breakdown or stroke...  I feel overloaded as is. But who else can. 

oh crap!  getting a migraine now, grr! 

And i'm worried about dad tjishwerk too,i this rash, and his bsl was 17.4 tonight & yesterday he sent the physio away refusing to do it, probably 'cause they changed his usual male attendent dad liked to a migit woman Smiley Sad  Far out!  When will they realise ppl with memory loss & depression...  they need continuity. 


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@ Dec @ Faith-and-Hope @ Apple @ Darcy  @ Anyone

Senior Contributor

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Thank you @Bella1978, need support. Oh how i coyld walk away tonight
Senior Contributor

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@lapses ...
Senior Contributor

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

@lapses

firstly im sending you big hugs. im so sorry to hear about your day. you have enough on your plate taking care of your dad without your siblings adding to things.

applying for guardianship for your dad sounds like it would be a good idea. i can understand why you are hesitant though. im assuming that once its done, you will have full control over what happens. i wish your family would make things easier for you.

as for your brother filing a complaint against the doctor, do you think he would have valid reasons for it to be looked into?

how are you feeling now? how is your dad?

Community Guide

Re: Depression Dementia Dad

Hearing you and feeling for you @lapses ......

Have issues of my own going on here tonight so I can’t stay .....

Big hugs 💜