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Looking after ourselves

Casual Contributor

Helping my well child

Hi I’m new to this forum. I have two children, the eldest has depression and sees a psych and only Three days ago started antidepressants. So for many years we have battled her ups and downs. My other child is an over cater and over pleaser. Doing year 12. She’s suffered a lot and bottled it up. To add to the worries she bares her friend tried to harm herself just before Easter and is now in hospital. We’re talking but I’m scared for her, because she is burying everything because she is scared that if she brings it all to the surface she will stop coping with school. Anyone been through this or something similar and got any ideas.


Re: Helping my well child

Hi @Annie67

Welcome to the Forums.

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your children. Even though your daughter is burying things, it seems like she has told you about her fears of how this will impact her.

One resource that comes to mind, which you could pass on to your daughter is ReachOut which is aimed at young people. It might help her get a better understanding of what's going on with her friend and it also have an online forum like this where she can connect with others who are going through similar things.

There are a few members that have children around a similar age - Do any members have additional advice for Annie?

Re: Helping my well child

Hi @Annie67 and welcome to the forums ..... 👋

We ar battling a mental health issue in my husband, but it has impacted on our now adult kids as well. Our youngest and second youngest were struggling in the last couple of years at high school (and still are) ..... but they also had to keep themselves bottled up to even graduate.

Perhaos what does happen though, is that some of the emotions that they have to not unpack wholesale can “leak” out, if you like, through other therapeutic mediums, because we are holistic creatures.

Massages, listening to music (both kids now avidly listen to classical piano music through earbuds), distractions in areas of interest like gaming, art, craft, movies, physical activity ..... all the sorts of things that help to create lifestyle balance also have a healing quality to them .... a nurturing quality .... and they can reach into her pain core and help support it to get her through her critical year of study.

Meditation or mindfulness aps like Smiling Mind could be good, if it interests her ....

Re: Helping my well child

It is such a challenge to give your kids all they need when the problems of one take all your energy. If the medication works, things should at least become more stable soon.
My middle son did year 12 last year with his younger brother suicidal and self harming and in and out of hospital. We were lucky because he has always been fairly independent and just got on with it, but his teachers were aware and made allowances for him -even encouraging him to apply for special consideration due to the stress.
All we could do was let him know what a great role model he was being for his brother and try to give him lots of attention in the rare times we could. This was mainly when youngest brother was in-warded in hospital.
We also asked him to take a broad perspective- how would you measure success at a time when a family member's life is in danger? If we all make it through, that is something to celebrate. Anything else is a bonus.
We encouraged all of them to talk freely about everything and some family counseling sessions helped too.
We have just returned from a big holiday which was something to look forward to all last year, and we were just talking about how the darkness has finally lifted. We are not out of the woods, but we are SO much better.
I hope your daughters both get through this difficult time soon. They may be suffering but there is the potential for growth in that as well.
Remind them that things DO get better, and their most important job right now is to live and grow and learn and not worry about other people's expectations.
Look after yourself, you are an important warrior.

Re: Helping my well child

Hi @teachersusan and welcome to the forums ...... 👋

Re: Helping my well child

Hello @Annie67, @teachersusan love to hear how you are today

remember you are not alone my friends xxxxxx

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