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Looking after ourselves

Whiteknight
Senior Contributor

Rebounders and reversing mindset

We know what "triggers" are- a word, a sentence, can set us off into a depressive cycle as if it has simply pushed our buttons in an instant. We battle against triggers not realising most times that our fragile state of mind is often the cause, not the word or the sentence or the criticism. It's like our mind is waiting for that opportunity to revert back to a poor mental state.

 

I've studied my triggers over a long period, about 30 years or more. I've found that if I know I'm not feeling 100% then my mind will react to a trigger more easily. So I began to think about how I could ignore the triggering comment from someone that wants to dominate me or hurt. I found I couldnt ignore them, no way, there seemed no journey around those things.

 

  • Once that was accepted, I began a process "post" triggers. That means action after being triggered. I realised that after being triggered my depression was on hold, it hadnt arrived straight away. That usually came the next day. So, in effect I was in the angry state before the depressive state. That was my opportunity.

 

So one day I was hurt by comments from a neighbour. She and her husband arrived one day for a cuppa and I asked what had she been doing, she replied "well someone has to work to pay the taxes". After a few years of being on the DSP it hurt. Previous to being on the pension I'd worked hard for many years doing 12 hour shift work around 60-72 hours a week. This lady is a casual nurse working 20 hours a week day shift only. As you can see the dwelling began and the anger after they left our home.

 

So my normal process after they left would be to sit on our lounge and dwell, and dwell, get angry, talk to my wife to let the anger out, then sleep little that night and dperessed the next day...extra hours in bed maybe a cry or two. This time was different.

 

I implemented my "rebounder" idea. This was the order of things.

  • Contact my neighbour nicely and explain that her comment hit home hard and I've taken it personally. She immediately regretted saying it and realised it was inconsiderate.
  • To refrain from sitting on the couch and dwelling
  • Went for a long walk with my wife and dog
  • Met up at the park with a friend that needed help lifting furniture for an upcoming event. We shared a cuppa and he showed his appreciation
  • Returned home and neighbour was there waiting...with a lemon slice and an all important hug.
  • Spent the cuppa laughing and discussing how we wont be so sensitive or inconsiderate next time
  • Had a good sleep that night.
  • Next day cleaned up my garage and had a good day.

Rebounders means rebounding. Sow the seeds of evading dwelling and lost hours by confronting emotions, communication, move ones body dont sit where boredom grows and repair relationships.

 

You change things when words take over action. I call that "switching mindsets" . You sit on your couch knowing you should go for that walk. You say to yourself "I'll do it tomorrow" I've programmed my thinking now where as soon as I say those words or similar, I get up and do it physically. In essence doing the reverse of what your mind is wanting to do...in that case, being lazy.

WK

 

1 REPLY 1

Re: Rebounders and reversing mindset

Hi @Whiteknight,

Thanks for sharing this. Its really inspiring to read about how hard you have worked to understand yourself and experiment with different ways of being. Your story shows the power of self study and self awareness, which can be so so hard to do when it comes to triggers.

 

I wonder if other forum members have had similar, or counter experiences?

 

Great stuff 🙂

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